I keep rolling the number around in my mouth, not comprehending the fact that I really am getting older.
Should I have done more by now? I doubt it. Judging by the past few years entries, I would imagine i've lived through quite a bit.
Should I be more mature? Perhaps. Sometimes I think I was more mature in college than I am now. I was still living in dreams, planning a stumbling forward performing career, and drinking in the possibilities of life.
Perhaps my last entry seemed entirely cynical. My thoughts on love and life do not exactly lie in the same path five years ago. Instead, I am learning to live differently. To excel in what I KNOW i can- and at least trying to hold a little bit of love in my hands, for once. After all, I cannot remember the last time I felt that kind of love. It has nothing to do with readiness, boundaries, cynicism, or letting my heart go again. It has everything to do with letting go of my past. stepping forward, even if I am truly stumbling.
I need to stop being afraid of what has happened to me. I will never allow that to happen again. And so here I am.
27 with new possibilities.
It's time to grasp a few dreams, again.
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